Sunday, October 18, 2015

Enlightenment (1)

Thay explains, "Enlightenment for a wave in the ocean, is the moment the wave realizes it is water." And my understanding is as follows:

Thay often says, "go home to yourself", but I feel that ego will not go home to oneself. Correct expression should be "revive yourself". But I understand that ego and true self are two sides of the same coin. They are not two but are not one, either.

Instead of gazing at the moon till I lose my senses, I shut down my six senses (5 senses + mind) by mindful breathing. For dissolution of the concept "I" (ego), true self (awareness) needs to revive. I understand that consciousness and the form are eternal because there is no birth and no death. 

Every particle and energy enfolds into consciousness. And consciousness unfolds into the form. They are changing every moment. I am always awareness. Awareness and the form are interdependent co-arising. Awareness transcends time and space, so is in the phenomenal and the noumenal at the same time. I understand everything depends on who we are. Whether ego or true self (awareness)?

I understand that self-inquiry is the concrete method to remove the contamination, the objects, and clarify the mind. But it's hard for ego to impose a modicum of silence. How can ego feel like stopping thinking? What is necessary for ego to do it? Who is forcing attention on it to awareness? How is it possible when ego is active? Why does ego want to do it?

In my case, when my ego was fed up with sufferings, my ego wanted to change itself seriously in order to stop sufferings. And my ego asked, "How can I stop rejecting myself? How can I love myself?" ["I": ego, "myself": true self (awareness)] That was the start of spiritual dialogue.

As for Thay's "Enlightenment for a wave in the ocean, is the moment the wave realizes it is water", my understanding is as following. When ego is fed up with sufferings, ego (wave) can realize it is true self (water)". That's because ego wants to change itself in order to stop sufferings. If ego practices mindful breathing, it can stop thinking, revive true self and true self can touch the reality as it is. In this way, a wave can realize it is water. So, my revised version of the poem will be "Enlightenment for a wave in the ocean, is the moment the wave (ego) revives awareness and awareness realizes the wave is water (true nature of the reality)."