More concrete question will be as follows: If you are not accepted by your parents with strong ego unconditionally in babyhood, do you obey your parents or pull out yourself from parents? If you obey your parents, your decision is based on emptiness (or compassion) and you can't love yourself. As a result, you can't practice compassion to others without self-love. If you pull out yourself from parents, your decision is based on unconditional self love and you can love yourself. Of course, you can extend your self-love to others. So, eventually you can practice compassion to others.
One example of showing the difference between emptiness and unconditional self love is the options of Dalai Lama in 1959 in Tibet. Of course Dalai Lama had the wisdom of emptiness. But the Chinese communist party's leaders didn't have the wisdom of emptiness. If Dalai Lama chose emptiness (or compassion), he had to stay in Tibet. But he chose the exile from Tibet based on unconditional self love.
If friction occurs between your ego and someone's ego, stress occurs. Therefore, if either of you release your own ego, stress does not occur. However, problems won't be solved if your counterparts don't release their ego. Problems will be solved only if both sides release own ego.
As for my actual experience, please refer to my post (bottom of this page) to http://plumvillage.org/news/unconditional-acceptance/
Volcano Eruptions Photo by Dragana Biocanin
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